单发,修改稿征求意见

剧饮千杯

<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">原稿:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">夜讀陶靖節《飲酒二十首》有感，衍成五律</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">釋耒拘行役，吾生亦複氓。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">杜門多況味，合卷薄秋聲。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">了了塵羈影，疏疏世外情。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#cc33ae">披衣寒肅起，風唳月縱橫。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#cc33ae"></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#000000">改稿:</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"></span></p><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">釋耒拘行役，吾生亦複氓。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; tab-stops: center 207.65pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">杜門多況味，合卷薄秋聲。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">了了塵羈影，疏疏世外情。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#dd22dd">至今思五柳，千載抱幽貞。</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#dd22dd"></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><font color="#000000"></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"></p></span>

向闲

修改稿显然好。月之运行有固定轨迹，纵横不科学。又，渊明何曾杜门。

湘东诗苑

改后好，可不再与二联重复．

仰斋

複氓何解？