三叠泉

浔阳倦客

<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">惊龙一道出崔嵬，三叠奔来万壑雷。</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">&nbsp; 溅玉飞珠润山色，绿枝青壁净无埃。</font></span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">改一下：</font></span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">惊龙莽莽出崔嵬，三叠腾挪响似雷。</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">&nbsp; 溅玉飞珠润山色，绿枝青壁净无埃。</font></span></font></span></p><br/>

向闲

<font face="宋体" color="#0000ff" size="5">三叠奔来万壑雷，似壮实俗。</font>

云中鸾

<p>刚学写了个瀑布，跟可人MM后蹭帖</p><p>水龙吟·九龙漈瀑布<br/>碧霄浩气消沉，断崖回首烟无际。洞天锁却，青鸾不到，恨娥慵髻。四望孤踪，孑然长立，闽南游子。忽海心飞雨，排空雪浪，九龙掠，身惊起。&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 归去休询底事。更休询，霁虹添未。声喧鼙鼓，哀猿来听，风流谁替。光叠千寻，寒生一脉，古今如此。但闲来买棹，江湖逝远，与鱼儿戏。</p><p><br/>友评：上片“恨娥”“九龙”处用力过了些。下片“风流”句轻、弱。总体觉情感缺少些依托。</p><p>——深以为然。</p>

浔阳倦客

<p>谢向砸云跟。</p><p>喜mm下片。上片闽南游子觉得无谓。</p><p>偶自改一下</p>

风露中宵

<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>浔阳倦客</i>在2009-4-29 22:20:48的发言：</b><br/><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">惊龙一道出崔嵬，三叠奔来万壑雷。</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">&nbsp; 溅玉飞珠润山色，绿枝青壁净无埃。</font></span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">改：</font></span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">惊龙莽莽出崔嵬，三叠腾挪响似雷。</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: ZH-CN; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">&nbsp; 溅玉飞珠润山色，绿枝青壁净无埃。</font></span></font></span></p><br/></div><p></p>绿枝青壁净无埃。耐人寻味。然三句转得太实。

叶子

<p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">潜龙浩莽出崔嵬，三叠腾挪惊掣雷。</font></span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: arial; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa;"><br/></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5">&nbsp; 溅玉飞珠山著色，壁青枝绿净无埃。</font></span></font></span></p><p><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;"><font color="#0000ff" size="5"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: arial; mso-ascii-font-family: arial; mso-font-kerning: 1.0pt; mso-ansi-language: en-us; mso-fareast-language: zh-cn; mso-bidi-language: ar-sa; mso-bidi-font-family: arial;">倦兄，未经你同意私自乱改了，祈谅呀~</span></font></span></p><br/>

雁客

云随山鬼裸崔嵬，化作巨龙情够雷。三叠折腾飞润野，汇潜江海荡尘埃。<br/>

浔阳倦客

叶子改的几近；雁兄改的不取－－－－－－－－一并谢过

雁客

<p>倦兄之诗不敢改，只是步韵和一首。</p><p><strong><font color="#c43c72">云随山鬼裸崔嵬，化作巨龙情够雷。三叠折腾飞润野，汇潜江海荡尘埃。</font></strong></p>

红叶

老倦，实未见佳。。。