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发表于 2007-9-23 14:12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"></span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">何处疏蝉响,风沉夜寂时。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">灯清稠白露,叶落老梧枝。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">欲去相栖久,飞飞意故迟。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">临悲馀此叹,万念独怀之。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p>
发表于 2007-9-23 19:00:31 | 显示全部楼层
别有深慨
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发表于 2007-9-24 08:10:44 | 显示全部楼层
直取魏晋。
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发表于 2007-9-24 09:49:24 | 显示全部楼层
<p>颔联佳。结联的语言表达较涩硬。</p>
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发表于 2007-9-24 11:04:04 | 显示全部楼层
相栖对意故,或可再酌。
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 楼主| 发表于 2007-9-24 11:10:46 | 显示全部楼层
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;mso-hansi-font-family:&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;mso-hansi-font-family:&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">几处疏蝉响,凄然夜寂时。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">
                        <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;mso-hansi-font-family:&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">灯清稠白露,叶落老梧枝。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">
                        <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;mso-hansi-font-family:&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">欲去相栖久,飞飞意故迟。</span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">
                        <span lang="EN-US"><p></p></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: center; mso-pagination: widow-orphan;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;mso-hansi-font-family:&quot;; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">临风生万念,一叹复何之。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;"><p></p></span></p><p>先谢过段师,试改下,再请正!</p>
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 楼主| 发表于 2007-9-24 11:20:58 | 显示全部楼层
<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>向闲</i>在2007-9-24 11:04:04的发言:</b><br/>相栖对意故,或可再酌。</div><p>刚才一直在贴,回头才见,谢卢兄,再想想</p>
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发表于 2007-9-24 13:38:39 | 显示全部楼层
我倒觉得颈联特好,传神的写出了这只欲去还留的知了哈
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 楼主| 发表于 2007-9-24 13:47:26 | 显示全部楼层
谢谢哈,找回些许自信哈,,[em01]
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