还是单发一下,以求更多修正意见--------社课题《西风》，却念东南，虽离题，尚不过

江湖小李

<p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">纷纷落叶打窗频，叵料今宵入梦真。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">塞上黄沙吹白日，汉家陵阙动红尘。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">一身去国暮云冷，万里穷途岛屿珍。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">南岳高回南向雁，北庭终候北归人。——杜少陵：北极朝庭终不改。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">二稿</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">纷纷落叶打窗频，叵耐今宵入梦真。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">塞上寒沙吹白日，汉家陵阙动红尘。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">遥思东海喧嚣地，难认当年去国身。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">万里归休谁未可？江南老却好鲈莼。</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">2007</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">年</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">9</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">月</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">19</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">日星期三</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;"></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">感叹：可爱的宝岛啊！你还是渐行渐远了，这能怪西风吗？！</span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 6pt -21pt; TEXT-INDENT: 21.2pt; mso-char-indent-count: 2.02;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">诗云：闻道西风吹岛裂，难凭赤手挽沉沦！</span></p><br/>

红叶

哦 这才看懂， 确实大感慨

湘东诗苑

<p>这个好曲折，卷先生解了一下，好像数据丢失了一些，不见了。第三联遥思，难见，转折有力。最后一节干净利落，感觉章法工稳。学习。</p><br/>

红尘

觉起得弱些

浔阳倦客

<p>颈联颇具气象</p><p>结好</p>