[原创]失題

雁客

<p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 12.5pt; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><font face="宋体"></font></span></p><p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><font face="宋体"></font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">屈就地球村，</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">蜗居尽俗人。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">蹒跚离洞穴，</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">土木匿寒身；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">辗转登楼厦，</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">钢混隔睦邻。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">自从玩火箭，</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">长</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;; mso-hansi-font-family: &quot;Times New Roman&quot;;">盼绝埃尘。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"></p><p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"></p><p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"></p><p class="p0" style="ADDING-RIGHT: 0pt; BORDER-TOP: medium none; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; PADDING-LEFT: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0pt; LINE-HEIGHT: 0.75pt; PADDING-TOP: 1pt;"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 12.5pt; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 12.5pt; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-FAMILY: 'Arial'; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><p></p></span></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><!--Element not supported - Type: 8 Name: #comment--><br/><br/>

风露中宵

<font face="宋体">前二联不错。鋼混，是钢筋混凝土的简称吧。诗虽要求精炼，此种省略，恐流于生硬。结稍直。</font>

雁客

谢谢指教！

浔阳倦客

雁兄自成一格：））