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水龍吟 與江右諸師友登豐城玉華山, 拈《山鬼》若有人兮披蘿帶荔句意分韻得荔字

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发表于 2007-6-20 09:41:19 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
<font face="黑体"><font size="4"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">千年劍氣消沈</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW; mso-fareast-font-family: PMingLiU;">,</span><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">奇峰吞吐無餘滓。危崖罅石,泉根冷浸,塵思頓洗。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">倦鳥鳴條,疏煙掛澗,微風天際。正東南嘉客,雲間賓主,同欲伴、星辰睡。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">應有窺人山魅。整裙裳、藤蘿薜荔。鼓蛙似唱,愁猿來聽,涼侵衣袂。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: 宋体;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd;"><span lang="ZH-TW" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: PMingLiU; mso-ascii-font-family: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-fareast-language: ZH-TW;">光焰文章,歌吹終古,百憂如廢。待明朝,卻下清溪買棹,向江湖逝。</span><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; TEXT-INDENT: 24pt; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"></p></span><p class="MsoNormal" style="BACKGROUND: white; MARGIN: 0cm -88.6pt 0pt 0cm; WORD-BREAK: break-all; TEXT-INDENT: 28pt; tab-stops: 168.75pt; mso-para-margin-right: -8.44gd; mso-char-indent-count: 2.0;"><font face="黑体"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></font></font></p></span></font></font><font face="黑体"><font size="4"><span lang="EN-US" style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: 仿宋_GB2312; mso-hansi-font-family: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt;"><p></p></span></font></font>
发表于 2007-6-22 22:11:22 | 显示全部楼层
可见得妙于心,真的很不错。
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发表于 2007-6-22 23:04:03 | 显示全部楼层
很雅致,是一首力作,值得赞赏。渔歌兄所提虽是小问题,却很正确。
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发表于 2007-6-22 23:18:39 | 显示全部楼层
好词,学生读后受益匪浅,老师能否用简体字发帖,学生看繁体字有点吃力,呵呵。
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发表于 2007-6-23 06:16:20 | 显示全部楼层
还欠一手,就应该结题了.呵呵
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发表于 2007-6-23 10:12:55 | 显示全部楼层
<p>建议加精.</p>
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发表于 2007-6-20 10:20:27 | 显示全部楼层
骚雅清醇,盘旋劲折,允称合作!孔子曰:“后生可畏”,良非虚语。“歌吹”之“吹”,例读去声,偶有借读平者,终不足为训也。结拍“待明朝,卻下清溪買棹,向江湖逝”,不妨点为“待明朝卻下,清溪買棹,向江湖逝”,稼轩“倩何人、唤取红巾翠袖,揾英雄泪”,不如断为“倩何人唤取,红巾翠袖,揾英雄泪”,坡翁“细看来,不是杨花,点点是,离人泪”句读最歧,断为“细看来不是,杨花点点,是离人泪”似更一气灌注也。又,“尘思”之“思”,古人虽有读平者,然仍以读去声为正,可易为“心”。<br/>
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发表于 2007-6-20 10:37:58 | 显示全部楼层
<p>长调难写,佩服.词并熊社评语学习了.提一点"同欲伴"似应为"欲同伴"中间一字似应为平.</p>
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发表于 2007-6-20 21:35:28 | 显示全部楼层
精心结撰,观其开首、过片、结拍可知,气力全在此三处。
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发表于 2007-6-20 21:39:13 | 显示全部楼层
青衫兄以前似乎也不填词 吃惊不小
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