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赏析一首五律,请大家指正

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发表于 2008-8-1 15:23:13 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
<p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">夜得闲</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">听歌偶感</span><font face="Times New Roman"><br/></font><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">作者:一介酸丁</span><span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp; </font></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"></font></span></p></span></p><p><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"></font></span></p><p></p><p><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"></font></span></p><p></p><p><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman"></font></span></p><p></p><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">细雨千千阕</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">流年淡淡尝</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">.</font></span><p></p><p><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">如歌偏变老</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">似梦却经霜</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">.</font></span></p><p><span lang="EN-US"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">已惯山丘远</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">还伤木叶黄</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">.</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">随风诗伴酒</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">况味不知凉</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">.</font></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"></span></p><p></p><p><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">简析:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">首联颇类唐冯延巳的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">&lt;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">南乡子</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">&gt;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">:“细雨湿流光,芳草年年与恨长”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">的意境。一种淡淡的愁怅迷漫于丝丝细雨中,以景入情,情由景生,可谓善得诗法。淡淡尝,一个尝字,将岁月流逝中复杂的况味婉转道出。亦与辛弃疾:“可惜流年,忧愁风雨,树犹如此”机杼相似。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; 嫁轩是慨叹年华渐逝,功业不就,风雨逗人愁绪,复引桓温金城见十年前所植之柳,粗已成围,不禁叹曰:“树犹如此,人何以堪”的典故,感慨人生之短,世事沧桑变化之速。作者在三联对句“还伤木叶黄”,亦是暗寓着这层意思。岁月迁逝之感,古今同一。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; </span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">当年宋玉咏:“洞庭波兮木叶下”,悲秋之情溢于言表。今作者伤黄叶飘落,亦是借前人酒杯浇自家块磊。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; 二联:“如歌偏变老,似梦却经霜。”</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体;">时下</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">一首流行歌曲:我能想到最浪漫的事,就是和你一起慢慢变老,作者盖化用此意乎?与相爱的人偕老,得偿所愿,可以无憾也。或寓对往事旧情之追忆。“似梦却经霜”可见梦之凄寒,心境之凄恻。此联诗意稍隐晦迷朦。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; 再观三联:“已惯山丘远</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">还伤木叶黄。”陶渊明的</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">&lt;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">归园田居</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">&gt;</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">一:“少无适俗韵</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">性本爱丘山。”作者隐然以陶元亮为同调,不惯世俗之纷扰,而心醉于田园之静美,山丘之幽雅。此处似流露出作者的隐逸之怀。然对句一伤字,却又似矛盾。作者于秋叶凋零,节气更迭不能无所挂怀。故可知虽有隐者之志,终不能学太上忘情,或身在江湖,心在魏阙乎?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">&nbsp;&nbsp; 结联直抒怀抱,诗意显霍。“随风诗伴酒</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">,</font></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-ascii-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman';">况味不知凉”,作者当把酒临风时,逸兴遄飞,宠辱皆忘,世态之炎凉早抛诸九宵云外。黄山谷有诗:“清风明月无人管,并作南楼一味凉”。此时脱却尘网,遗世独立,飘飘乎几欲羽化登仙。岂不令人称羡?</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt;"><span lang="EN-US"><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p></span></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p><p></p><p><font face="Times New Roman">&nbsp;</font></p>请诸友斧正。诗如何?评得如何?
发表于 2008-8-2 00:11:56 | 显示全部楼层
<p>诗不错,赏析文字挺到位。</p><p>但还是得批评一下,首联两句明显是不算狠通的,完全是被中宵兄解通的。</p><p>细雨千千阕,这个句子怎么看都是问题句。流年淡淡尝要稍好些,</p>
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-4 16:29:12 | 显示全部楼层
<div class="msgheader">QUOTE:</div><div class="msgborder"><b>以下是引用<i>殊熠在天</i>在2008-8-2 0:11:56的发言:</b><br/><p>诗不错,赏析文字挺到位。</p><p>但还是得批评一下,首联两句明显是不算狠通的,完全是被中宵兄解通的。</p><p>细雨千千阕,这个句子怎么看都是问题句。流年淡淡尝要稍好些,</p></div><p>谢殊兄指正。</p>
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