[原创]请各位前辈指教

岁月青藤

<p><span times="" mso-hansi-font-family="Times" mso-bidi-font-family="Times" new="" mso-font-kerning="" mso-ansi-language="" mso-fareast-language="" mso-bidi-language="" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ;"></span></p><p><span times="" mso-hansi-font-family="Times" mso-bidi-font-family="Times" new="" mso-font-kerning="" mso-ansi-language="" mso-fareast-language="" mso-bidi-language="" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ;">中秋书怀</span></p><p><span times="" mso-hansi-font-family="Times" mso-bidi-font-family="Times" new="" mso-font-kerning="" mso-ansi-language="" mso-fareast-language="" mso-bidi-language="" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ;">揽月九天非难事，</span></p><p><span times="" mso-hansi-font-family="Times" mso-bidi-font-family="Times" new="" mso-font-kerning="" mso-ansi-language="" mso-fareast-language="" mso-bidi-language="" style="FONT-SIZE: 10.5pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ascii-font-family: ;"></span>嫦娥双影伴月轮。</p><p>须臾我辈同折桂，</p><p>携手玉皇宴群神。</p>

今是昨非斋

楼主的平仄一关似尚未过。

浔阳倦客

<p>句子散乱</p><p>注意平仄</p><p>作废兄多指教</p>

今是昨非斋

倦兄怎么把球踢到我这儿了？呵呵！

浔阳倦客

<p>他是藤不是球哦</p><p>一个朋友。偶力不逮，兄为斑竹，责无旁贷^_^</p>

向闲

欢迎新朋友，加强基本功。