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[原创]参加庐山管理局《庐山历代诗词全集》定稿会有感

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发表于 2009-11-5 19:57:03 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
<div style="LINE-HEIGHT: normal; MARGIN-TOP: 10px; TEXT-INDENT: 24px; MIN-HEIGHT: 200px; WORD-WRAP: break-word; FONT-SIZE: 14pt; WORD-BREAK: break-all;"><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">秋风未起叶先飞,</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">忝列台阶也作诗</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">。</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">云上五峰多变幻,</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">江流九派更迷离。</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">三千年仰匡君秀,</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">百万首吟庐岳奇!</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">自古圣贤皆寂寞</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">,</span></p><p class="p0" style="MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt;"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: &quot;宋体&quot;; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: &quot;yes&quot;;">涂鸦莫叹不逢时。</span></p><!--Element not supported - Type: 8 Name: #comment--><br/></div>
发表于 2009-11-5 20:24:49 | 显示全部楼层
<span style="FONT-FAMILY: 'background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16pt;mso-spacerun:';">“涂鸦莫叹不逢时”似觉得有点接不住上句。</span>
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发表于 2009-11-5 21:31:08 | 显示全部楼层
12句似也不连&nbsp; 顺下来就似乎叶也作诗了
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发表于 2009-11-6 15:06:16 | 显示全部楼层
中间两联有合掌之嫌。
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发表于 2009-11-7 08:15:13 | 显示全部楼层
三联好,这种句式可增口感!
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发表于 2009-11-7 12:04:55 | 显示全部楼层
雁兄何不把晓南兄的一并贴了欣赏
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 楼主| 发表于 2009-11-7 12:57:01 | 显示全部楼层
<p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><p>感谢诸位斧正!又改动如下:</p></span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">秋风未起叶先飞,</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">忝列</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">山门妄作诗</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">。</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">云上五峰多</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">变</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">幻,</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">江流九派</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">更</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">迷离。</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">几</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">千年</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">仰君知否</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">,</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">数</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">万首</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">吟吾学谁?</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">古墨似将庐岳染</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">,</span></p><p class="p0" style="TEXT-ALIGN: left; MARGIN-TOP: 5pt; TEXT-INDENT: 18pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 5pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"></span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">涂鸦何处可逢时</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';">。</span><span style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes';"><p></p></span></p><!--Element not supported - Type: 8 Name: #comment-->
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 楼主| 发表于 2009-11-7 12:58:43 | 显示全部楼层
让晓南先生自己贴吧。谢谢!
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 楼主| 发表于 2009-11-8 14:11:07 | 显示全部楼层
再改!参加庐山管理局《庐山历代诗词全集》定稿会有感<br/>秋风未起叶先飞,<br/>忝列山门妄作诗。<br/>云上五峰多变幻,<br/>江流九派更迷离。<br/>几千年仰君同圣,<br/>数万首吟吾学谁?<br/>匡岳墨香将翠染,<br/>涂鸦只是爱如痴。<br/>
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 楼主| 发表于 2009-12-4 19:33:10 | 显示全部楼层
<div>&nbsp;姚立民&nbsp; 敬步&nbsp; 原韻&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div></div><div>群峰競秀遏霞飛。&nbsp;&nbsp; 喜上廬山朗誦詩。</div><div>天際風雲無定態;&nbsp;&nbsp; 人間苦樂太迷離。</div><div>任憑才俊經營巧;&nbsp;&nbsp; 未及乾坤造化奇。</div><div>不必立功求富貴,&nbsp;&nbsp; 立言立德更匡時 !</div><div><br/>&nbsp;</div>
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